August 27, 2015

20 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF FROM BECOMING A MOM.

We all know that when you become a mom that your life completely changes. It really is not the same life that you thought it would be in both good and bad ways. I didn’t realize how easy it is to lose yourself and to devote your complete self to your little one which is both good and bad. I have learned a lot about being a mom and loving someone else, but I have learned the most about myself and I want to share those things with you!

1. You will never understand how much you can love someone and how much love your heart can hold. This seriously was the biggest thing to me. The feelings that I have for my sweet baby is unlike anything I could ever describe. My heart bursts and I get these butterflies in my stomach over my sweet bald headed, blue eyed baby all day. I would go to the ends of the earth for this boy. It is something you think you understand, and then you have a little one and your heart bursts even more than you ever thought it would.

2. I am stronger than I ever thought I was. This is something that caught me off guard. If you would have told me before I was pregnant that I would endure mastitis 6 times and keep nursing and pumping I would have laughed in your face. BUT I DID IT! I have endured more than I ever thought I could. The saying rings so true, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”

3. I have found to love myself. When you love someone that you have created or is now a part of your family so much it is hard not to love yourself. I look back at all the things that we went through to get King here and it makes me so proud of myself. It wasn’t easy, but I did it and for that I love myself.
4. I look at my life completely differently now. The little things that use to be such a big deal to me no longer matter to me. My life revolves around my family now and I am okay with that. It is a hard adjustment, but it is an amazing one when you make the change. Everything I do revolves around King, his schedule, and making sure it is his best interest now, not mine.

5. I have completely lost myself in the love of my child. I don’t worry about what people think of me anymore, I don’t have anxiety that I said the wrong thing to someone or that I didn’t say hi to someone anymore. I have completely lost all of that in love and worry for my child. My whole heart, mind, and soul is worried and devoted to King. The silly things that use to fill my brain are now gone and it is filled with love, worry, and strength for my baby.
6. I have to focus more on my relationship with my husband. When we had King we started to make him the focus rather than us and then him. We can’t be strong as parents for our child and have his best interest all the time if our relationship is struggling.

7. I have learned to compromise more and look at the bigger picture. I am the first to say that usually when I approach Zach about something I know that he will just let me have my way. With King however, it isn’t that way. When you both love your child so much, you both have ideas of what your little ones best interest is. I have learned to look at the bigger picture, see others opinions more, and compromise in decisions.
8. I have to force myself to get ready and be productive. It is so easy for me to stay in my pajamas all day and play on the floor with King and not get anything done. If I don’t have somewhere to be that day, I literally have to force myself to get ready, be productive, and not let us lay in bed all day.

9. I have learned some patience. I am the most impatient person you will ever meet. I have learned to have to wait on things and put King first. Some days that means not getting ready, not eating lunch, or other things when I want to.

10. I have realized that taking care of myself is so important. If I don’t take care of myself who will be there to care for my baby? I have made lifestyle changes in my diet, exercise, and spiritually to make sure that I am in my best state so I can take care of my child the best I can.

11. Working out is HARD. I swear, it kills me. And I need to be better at it. But I am going to learn to endure and get some stamina behind me. I now have to work out around King’s schedule and it isn’t easy most days. Plus I am super out of shape so that doesn’t help the situation.

12. I never knew how much I loved my husband. There is just something so amazing about watching your husband love and take care of you and your child. I never realized the extent of my love for him until he not only provides for me, but provides for our entire family.

13 I can ask for help. I am too prideful to ask for help all the time. Having a little one (especially the newborn phase and with mastitis) it has taught me that it is okay to ask for help and to allow others to help me. No one thinks less of me as a person or as a mom if I need some help.
14. It’s okay to have a messy house and life. To a point people. The moments with King will be gone before I know it. It is okay for there to be dishes in the sink for a little bit, floors that need mopped, or laundry that needs folded. While it all does make me anxious that it all needs done, one day I will look back and be so glad I spent those moments with King rather than the things that take away from him for a minute.

15. I am a freak with irrational fears. This is getting ridiculous. Seriously, no joke last night I laid awake refreshing my news feed on my phone worried there was a man hunt by my house (there never has been one… don’t ask where this came from) and worried about how I would protect King. I didn’t worry about anything besides the fact that I needed to keep King safe. For real, I am a mess about irrational fears…

16. I have to rely on my husband. I am one to always make sure that I am taken care of myself. Zach has never not taken care of me, he always makes sure that I am taken care of before himself, but now not only I rely on him, but King does also. When you add a third member to your family, you learn to rely on each other more than ever before.

17. Weekly meetings as a family have changed my life. We started doing this a couple weeks ago. Zach and I sit down once a week, go over our schedules together for the next two weeks and make a meal plan for the upcoming week. This alone has saved my sanity in knowing where we all are, when we need a sitter, and having a plan for our lives for that week. 
18. I have to fly by the seat of my pants now. Babies do their own thing. You have to be ready for anything at all times. They always seem to poop, puke, or have a melt down right as you need to leave. I have learned that it is okay to decide last minute that I am going to the store because King is happy, or that the store can wait because it’s nap time.

19. Date Nights MUST be done. This goes along with that we have to put our relationship as parents first. We have to schedule date nights and spend time just the two of us as a couple rather than parents. This saves my sanity and my relationship.
20. Being a mom is better than I have ever dreamed of! Really, I could have never dreamt of something that was better than being Kings mom. The late nights where we lay and giggle together when it is bedtime but it is more fun to stay awake, the peach mess and sink baths, the tears of worry, my bursting heart from loving him, the chunks of my hair on the floor from him pulling it, all of it is better than I could have ever imagined.
The things that I have learned from being a mom have changed and shaped me into the person I am today. I never knew I could learn so much so quickly from such a tiny human who has no words yet. I would go through so much hurt, heartache, sorrow, anything I had to so that I could be his mommy again. The way his sweet blue eyes look at me, the loves he gives me, the slobbery drool that I am so blessed to have all over my clothes. I love every aspect of being his mom. The good, the bad, the hard, the sadness, all of it. 
If I wasn’t King’s mommy I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t work as hard, strive to be a better person, or live the best life I can. Things have changed so much in my life and I am grateful for every change and trial. Those changes and trials aren’t ever easy at the time, but they are always the right decision for me and my family. I know that I have so much more to learn and that I will learn so much more from him and I can’t wait to see the person that he helps me to become. 
I mean, how can you not love that pale, bald, blue eyed babe?!

What have you learned from being a mom? How has your little ones helped to shape you into the person you are today?
Photos by Emmy Lowe