King can be the worlds best helper, or the best at helping you to re-do what you were just doing. I have really been working hard to let him be a helper even if it means that I do what I just did 5 million times because I have the worlds best helper. Letting King be a helper really tests my patience, but I know that it will be worth it in the long run and help him to be more confident if I let him learn, grow, and take a second to take a deep breath when everything is a mess and praise him for trying something new. This post is mainly to help me, it has been something that I have been really having a hard time with, but I think others will benefit from also.
1. Don’t be a helicopter parent. Don’t hover over them wherever they go. Let them be little and let them explore. This is something that I have the hardest time with. I want to be right there for him always, but I have realized that I am hindering him. I am not letting him be little, see the world from his tiny little eyes, and to do things that I never would have thought of. Take a step back and watch what things are important to them, it will most likely surprise you and be things you never thought.
2. Let them make mistakes and find the solutions on their own (to a point of course). If they never make mistakes then they will never learn how to get themselves out of them. This is something that I struggle with the most I think. I want to be there to fix things for him, make everything right in his world, and to never let him feel defeated. If you never feel defeat, you never know triumph. It is so important for them to find the solution to the mistake and to be praised when they figure it out.
3. Give them praise even when you want to be angry. When they spill milk all over the floor from getting the milk jug out on their own, do your best to bite your tongue and let them know how proud of them you are for trying something new. Too often I am getting angry about what King has done rather than looking at what he was trying to do independently. It is really hard to bite your tongue sometimes, but telling them you’re so proud of them for using their strong muscles to lift the milk out by themselves and to let mommy help you now lets them know that they did it, they did their best, and they can still have mom help them sometimes.
4. Give them kisses and hugs. This may seem silly, but these make the biggest difference. They make them feel of worth, loved, and like they have someone they can always turn to. My pediatrician told me that every child needs 5-8 hugs and 5-8 kisses at a minimum every day. While that may not seem like many, count how many you are giving your little ones every day especially if they are toddlers or even a little bit older. I feel like the older King gets, the less hugs and kisses there are because he is so busy. Make it a point to give your littles hugs and kisses.
5. Give them assignments of things to do. Every child needs to feel of worth, like they have a purpose, and they are needed. Giving them tasks to be in charge of let’s them know you need them, appreciate their help, and are proud of them when they accomplish it. It can be simple tasks of grab mommy a diaper, throw a paper away, etc. but the little tasks give them a sense of helping and accomplishment.
I am no expert by any means, these are just things that I am constantly reminding myself to do and to help King with. As a mom there are so many different things that need done and accomplished that a little reminder of reading it or telling ourselves makes a big difference. No matter what mama, you’re doing amazing and I am so proud of you!!