September 30, 2015

HARD DECISIONS… SAYING GOODBYE.

(I don’t know why I haven’t shared these pictures on here before, but I die over them so it is 100% necessary and these pictures were the first time King actually sat up all on his own!)
I have really been thinking and pondering the past few weeks. I often let life get the best of me and say “yes” to too many things. I say “yes” in fear of disappointing someone, hurting someones feelings, being a dependable friend/wife/daughter/mom/etc., and put myself and my family last. I spread myself too thin. I think that a lot of us do this to ourselves. It has made me an unhappy, stressed out, on edge, angry, person. I am not okay with the person that I am when my plate is too full. 

If you don’t know, I currently work four jobs. I am a nurse two days a week, teach dance a different night of the week, am a high school cheer assistant coach, and run this blog/business of mine. It keeps my life too crazy and me running from place to place with out keeping things in order at home. Dinner is rarely made, laundry is never done, King is often left in his walker or high chair to fend for himself, I am grumpy and over scheduled and it is a unhappy place to live. I have thought long and hard about what the best for myself, my family, and my happiness.

I have realized that a priority in my life for me is to first be a good wife and mom. If I can’t do that then something needs to go. I need to realign my priorities. I think that everyone can handle different amounts of things in their life and on their plate, my plate I think is just a smaller plate than some and that is completely okay. In talking with Zach we have decided that it is best if I resign from one of my many jobs. It took a lot of tears, thought, and prayers to decide what to do. I have built this website from the ground up. I have put endless amounts of time, money, sweat, tears, and love into it. I love to teach dance. I love to teach tumbling to the girls and watch them succeed. I love that it is something active that I get to do. Seeing the look of accomplishment on those little faces when they learn a new skill is absolutely priceless. I have worked my tail off to become a Registered Pediatric Nurse. Sleepless nights, days with my head in books, test after test, and putting everything else in my life on hold to become a nurse. Caring for these little humans is something that I have a passion for, it is something that brings me more satisfaction than anything else. Changing not only the little ones life but relieving some stress off of the parents, that is amazing to me. I love to coach these sweet high school girls. I strive to be a good role model to them. I want to teach them to become amazing people, who work hard, cheer on others, build others confidence, make new friends, etc. These girls have become some of my best friends. Watching them to grow into amazing young women, be amazing people, and to build up others is absolutely amazing.

As you can see it was a very hard decision. There is so much that I love about every single job that I work. They are all so different, yet build and shape me into the person I am. However, the minute that I can’t be a good wife to my husband or an amazing momma to King is the second that I have to take a step back and reevaluate. I have decided that it isn’t the right time for me to continue to be a high school cheer coach. I am saddened that the time was so short, but the way those girls have made a spot in my heart will be something that isn’t forgotten. They have changed me, brought patience to me, and have been so amazing to work with. I know that my decision isn’t just for me but for them also. They deserve to have a coach who can dedicate a lot more than I can to their team. Someone who can be there all the time. I can’t do that for them right now and that isn’t fair to them.

I know this is the right decision for me and my family right now even though it isn’t an easy one. I know that I will miss those girls deeply, but I will be focusing on my family which needs the focus right now. Sometimes the right decision definitely isn’t the easy one…