LIFE & CONFIDENCE OR LACK OF…
(I have put a lot of feelings and emotions into this post, if you don’t have something nice to say, please don’t say it… Thanks!) Life is hard. People are mean. However, I think that I am the meanest to myself. I am my hardest critic. There are so many things in life that I hold myself back from. I let my confidence or lack of hold me back. I keep myself in my house watching TV all by myself… It isn’t a fun life. Always being self conscious. Not doing things that I want to be at because I don’t feel good enough about myself or I don’t think that I “fit” in. I am sick of not posting that “selfie” on Instagram because I don’t feel like I look my best or that people will have mean things to say about it… I am tired of holding myself back, but yet, I don’t know how to boost myself up either. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not left sitting in a bedroom watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians or 90210 over and over. Â It’s meant to be spent with friends, family, people near and dear to you. It’s not about comparing yourself. It’s about being yourself and being confident in yourself.
(A friend sent me this, if you know the source please let me know so I can properly credit.)
I recently stayed home from a party. A big party that a lot of dear friends would be at. I paid a good chunk of money to be at this all day party event. I ended up selling my ticket a few days before and blaming it on “morning sickness” (which I truly still have and am grateful for because that means I am finally getting to start my family!) when in reality I didn’t feel that I fit in at this party… That my food baby belly that hadn’t popped yet would be stared at when I already felt self confident about it. I justified it by saying why would I spend that type of money to go if I am just going to worry the whole time about fitting in and hiding my chunky baby bump…
No one wants to be with the girl that is worried the whole time rather than letting loose and having fun. People are going to be turned away from the person who is quite and holds back in fear that she will say something that will hurt someones feelings on accident. It’s not only draining to the person who is afraid, but to the people who are with her. It is more fun to hang out with the girl who lets loose, doesn’t care, and is ready to PARTY!
I am going to strive to be confident in myself and BE MYSELF without worrying what I think or others think. It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be really hard… I am tired of holding myself back from amazing opportunities that are brought to me because I am nervous, anxious, and lacking self confidence. The reason I started this blog is to help myself be more confident in myself, to make myself put myself out there, to be strong, to be CONFIDENT and LOVE MYSELF! This post is not a pitty post. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just want others to know that they aren’t the only one who feels this way and that together we can push through anything! I love you all. I am so grateful that you want to share this little place on the internet with me. I want to hug you all, give you a butt slap, and be your best friend. So if you ever see me somewhere come say hi, write me an email and we will chat, snap chat me, anything! Let’s get through our problems together. Side by side. Life and problems are a lot easier with people by your side.
XOXOXO
Way to be brave and post such raw feelings. I’ve followed your blog for awhile and I just want to say congrats on the baby and you are gorgeous and you do such amazing things for your brother. Chin up realize you are amazing!!!
hi Emily! Thank you so much girl! I am so excited for my little one to come. I wish i could speed up time… ha. thank you so much for your kind words, they mean more than you know! XO
Miss Dani Marie. Let me first say that I LOVE YOU. Like seriously, love and adore you. You are darling and a sweet soul. I admire you for writing such an honest post, because most women feel this way and are just too scared to share it. But I want to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. You are loved and your are beautiful. Your blog is one that I check EVERY SINGLE DAY because I think you are so beautiful and so kind. I love reading about your life and am so excited for your little family to start growing. You are a role model, a friend, and an example to me. And I just need you to know I think the world of you.
With all that being said, I know how you feel. I am the meanest to me too… and I give myself a lot of pity. But I have finally come to terms with I am me, and the women that judge me or think I am weird (there probably aren’t as many as I make up in my mind) are not the type of women I care about. That sounds mean, but… seriously. I don’t care to think about them or what they are thinking anymore because there are plenty of people that think nice things of me, and I should do the same.
You are a daughter of God. He loves you. He adores you. And he made you, you. Because you are the type of person he needed.
oh girl… why must you live so far away?? it definitely wasn’t easy to post, but I know that others are going through the same thing and hopefully this helps them not feel so alone… i love you so much girl. come back to me and let’s be best friends! XO
Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to share your feelings like that. I appreciate it. god created you exactly how he wanted you! so don’t strive to be some one you aren’t…only strive to be more like him!
thank you so much sweet sarah! your words mean the world to me! XO
OH dani marie i think you are soooo awesome!!! When i met you aTyour house a while back (to buy a purse & scraf from your instagram shop), i thought you were a very self-confident, driven, very out-goinG….basically i assumed you were the girl that would be the life of the party……i actually thought to myself “i wish i were as cool, confident, and beautiful as she is when i was her aGe.” You gaVe me the impression that you had the perfect life. I haVe grown oVer the years (i’m now 51) and have changed and become like i want to be mostly…..sometimes i still lack those qualities and doubt myself….we all do. I wish i were closE to your age and we could become good friends, haNg out together, and have tons of fun (i’m probably old enough to be your mom). “Always remember who you are…your are a daughter of A heavenly king!” I always told my children as they left home for the day …always remember who you are……tHey
Now tell me that as we Say goodbye after a visit…..i loVE it. You are welcome to contact me if you need anything….or need a cOnfidence boost or even a kick in the butt…lol! Love to you Dani Marie……you are loved by Many…..you are amazing!!
oh brenda! Thank you so much. it means more to me than you ever know. that is so great that you did that for your children and now they share it with you again. i absolutely love it. thank you again sweet brenda!
Dani, where to begin. Firat let me say that I was quite surprised by this post. True, I don’t know you in person but on the blog, you are always so cheerful and uplifting. It’s a breath of fresh air to come to your blog and see your big smile.
It saddens me to hear that you struggle with self-confidence. That it affects your day to day life and keeps you at home. You are not alone in this struggle. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve canceled plans or made up excuses for not being able to see people. Then I wonder why I don’t have any friends. It’s the same with trying new things too. The constant fear that you won’t be good enough so you’d rather sick to something you know. New things and new people are scary. I always thought it was my shyness that kept me away from people but I think self confidence places a huge role in that as well.
I hope you know that you ARE definitely not alone in this struggle. I want to thank you for putting yourself out there for others like us with the same struggles. I wish you the absolute best in overcoming your battle. It’s a tough one but you do have a ton of support through your blog readers. We love you Dani!!
lauren, thank you so much! I am so glad that i portray that because life shouldn’t be sad! your words are so sweet and sincere. they mean so much! you aren’t alone girl… I get you. I understand 100%. If you ever need someone to chat with please shoot me an email and we can have a ‘lil vent session together! Thanks again sweet girl! XO
Thank you for writing this. I feel this post was written about me because i feel the exact same way. My husband gets frustrated with me because I never want to meet new people, hang out with our new neighbors etc. Even today I was out doing a little shopping and just ended up going home because it was too crowded out and I felt self conscious. Part of my issue i believe is that at my job years ago I felt bullied in the workplace. I still work at the same place and occassionly still run into those people and the old feelings come rushing back. I am also almost six months pregnant and have been very self conscious at this point when everyone around me looks at me as I pass by I feel like they are analyzing me. I hope that I can find that self confidence soon. I would love to know how you start a fashion blog. Maybe one day something like that can help boost my confidence too:)
Jenny my dear! it makes life not so fun huh… ugh I am so sorry you are going through it too. Pregnancy bodies aren’t the funnest… I am hoping things get better when I have actually popped. Good thing the sweet baby in there is worth it all! i am so sorry you were and sometimes still are bullied at the work place. that should not happen to anyone!! i am so sorry! if you ever need to chat know that i am here and ready to listen! love ya girl! XO
Thank you I appreciate that:)
Way to be brave and post this! I know how it’s like to feel like you don’t fit in. I have never felt like i fit into high school or even college. But once i got out into the “real” world i was a lot more confident because i was able to work in a field i am good at and i have a lot of support. There are still times when i feel like i don’t fit and i people are mean to me in the field i work in. I work in an industry that consists mostly of older men so they usually treat me like a silly little girl. One thing that has helped with my confidence is using their meaness to show them how capable i really am.
Good luck and always remember to be happy!
-Emily
http://www.breezingthrough.com
emily the real world is a little easier isn’t it! I felt that way all through high school and college too… I know that I am shy because I worry and that makes people think i am a brat which saddens me. girl! Those men are just jealous of you. I know that doesn’t help the situation but that is amazing of you! Way to go girl!! If you ever need to chat i am here girl! Just shoot me an email. XO
AWW, I think I know HOW you FEEL AND I KNOW it’s NOT A FUN feeling. BUT it’s GOOD THAT you’re ACKNOWLEDGING IT AND trying TO BREAK FREE. Believe ME THE POST-PARTUM SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS IS EVEN HARDER so it’s important TO DEAL WITH IT NOW. I HAD A HARD TIME enjoying MY BABY AFTER SHE WAS BORN because I WAS SO CONSUMED IN MY OWN feelings OF SELF DOUBT. That’s NO WAY TO LIVE. You’re A beautiful YOUNG WOMAN carrying THE MOST amazing GIFT you’ll EVER receive.
hi wanda! it won’t be easy, but man it will be worth it. i am so sorry that you didn’t get to enjoy your sweet baby. I am hoping that if I get over it now, that it will give me a life full of a lot more happiness! XO
i CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS POST AND i THINK YOU ARE SO BRAVE FOR PUTTING IT OUT THERE FOR ALL TO SEE! yOU ARE AN INSPIRATION AND ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE HARD TO DO, THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER ANXIETY IS TO FORCE YOURSELF TO DO THE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU. yOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES AND ALWAYS TRUST THAT YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!
XO lINDSAY
MIDDLEOFSOMEWHEREBLOG.BLOGSPOT.COM
Hi Lindsay! Thank you so much. It wasn’t easy, but if it helps one person it will be worth it. I know it’s the best way, i just don’t like forcing myself to do it ha. thank you for your sweet words doll! XO
I have to ask, because I think i’ve seen you post something to this nature before, do you often get negative feedback? you said if someone had something mean to say, not to say it, and i just wondered why you prefaced your post with that. i have only twice in my blogging (hobby? career?) had a negative comment but i know how they can sting. especially if it’s something that was TOUGH TO WRITE and you feel you’ve really put yourself out there with . but you seem to have a lot of positive people around you who love you and want to uplift you. there will always be that one person who doesn’t like what you have to say but you just have to let it roll off and envelope yourself in the kind words of the others who love your blog and what you’re about. don’t sweat the small stuff; it’ll make you crazy…i know! haha remember you have a husband who loves you and a baby about to bless your life! And on that note, i wouldn’t give even one little iota of thought to how others perceive your appearance. you’re growing a life and nothing is more beautiful than that!! 🙂
lindsey
Hey girl. No i usually don’t. I just wanted to say it so if someone thought i was being a baby or something they would keep it to themselves rather than making me feel more self CONSCIOUS about the issue if that makes sense. I do have a ton of positive people out there and i am so blessed for that, an amazing blogging community, and great followers! thank you again sweet girl! XO