(I have put a lot of feelings and emotions into this post, if you don’t have something nice to say, please don’t say it… Thanks!) Life is hard. People are mean. However, I think that I am the meanest to myself. I am my hardest critic. There are so many things in life that I hold myself back from. I let my confidence or lack of hold me back. I keep myself in my house watching TV all by myself… It isn’t a fun life. Always being self conscious. Not doing things that I want to be at because I don’t feel good enough about myself or I don’t think that I “fit” in. I am sick of not posting that “selfie” on Instagram because I don’t feel like I look my best or that people will have mean things to say about it… I am tired of holding myself back, but yet, I don’t know how to boost myself up either. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not left sitting in a bedroom watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians or 90210 over and over. It’s meant to be spent with friends, family, people near and dear to you. It’s not about comparing yourself. It’s about being yourself and being confident in yourself.
(A friend sent me this, if you know the source please let me know so I can properly credit.)
I recently stayed home from a party. A big party that a lot of dear friends would be at. I paid a good chunk of money to be at this all day party event. I ended up selling my ticket a few days before and blaming it on “morning sickness” (which I truly still have and am grateful for because that means I am finally getting to start my family!) when in reality I didn’t feel that I fit in at this party… That my food baby belly that hadn’t popped yet would be stared at when I already felt self confident about it. I justified it by saying why would I spend that type of money to go if I am just going to worry the whole time about fitting in and hiding my chunky baby bump…
No one wants to be with the girl that is worried the whole time rather than letting loose and having fun. People are going to be turned away from the person who is quite and holds back in fear that she will say something that will hurt someones feelings on accident. It’s not only draining to the person who is afraid, but to the people who are with her. It is more fun to hang out with the girl who lets loose, doesn’t care, and is ready to PARTY!
I am going to strive to be confident in myself and BE MYSELF without worrying what I think or others think. It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be really hard… I am tired of holding myself back from amazing opportunities that are brought to me because I am nervous, anxious, and lacking self confidence. The reason I started this blog is to help myself be more confident in myself, to make myself put myself out there, to be strong, to be CONFIDENT and LOVE MYSELF! This post is not a pitty post. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just want others to know that they aren’t the only one who feels this way and that together we can push through anything! I love you all. I am so grateful that you want to share this little place on the internet with me. I want to hug you all, give you a butt slap, and be your best friend. So if you ever see me somewhere come say hi, write me an email and we will chat, snap chat me, anything! Let’s get through our problems together. Side by side. Life and problems are a lot easier with people by your side.