I just wanted to give a little update on King man! It has been awhile since I have and the last time I chatted it was because I needed some help with parenting. I will be honest, I know i Put it out on the internet, but some of the responses that people thought was okay to say to a mom being vulnerable and asking for help when she already felt like the worlds worst mom were really sad. People telling me to learn how to put my phone down and what it really is to be a mom, etc. It was really sad to me because not only do I not even know these people, but they don’t know me and don’t know how I spend my days. If they were with me all the time and I was on my phone all day it would be one thing, but it was people telling me to stay off my phone when they had no idea what I do all day…
A little back story is that King has been really hard lately. He not only tantrums but he is very abusive to me in those tantrums. I know he is two, how can he be abusive? He hits me, kicks me, slaps me, etc. My pediatrician has told me to ignore the behavior completely because King doesn’t care about consequences being taken away. This leaves me wherever I am with him beating on me while I just quietly stand there and take it. He literally doesn’t like me at all, I am not allowed to look at him, change his diaper, get him lunch, really anything. Him being abusive to me does last shorter amounts of time when he does beat on me when I ignore it rather than tell him no, fight with him, or hold him down. So it is working a little bit and with time I am hoping he learns that he gets zero attention from it so it isn’t worth it. I have tried spending full days without my phone, just taking care of him and it doesn’t help. My pediatrician has said not to eliminate my phone because then it teaches him that when he is a stinker then mom stops everything that she is doing to only be with him and that isn’t realistic. He isn’t needing attention, we have sat down with our doctor and told him step by step our days and he said he is getting plenty of attention not only from me but others, it is something deeper.
There were many people offering support, loving advice, and being there for me through a really hard time. I have met with his pediatrician, my parents, in-laws, etc. to try to have advice and no one knows quite how to handle this little stinker. We have tried everything and our next step if it doesn’t get better will be behavior therapy. It just is so sad to me that at a point where a mom is letting it all out there, hard enough on herself, that people feel it is necessary to judge her and to break her down even more. Why can’t we love and support each other? Why can’t we lift each other up? What ever happened to if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all? Where did the village go?
Lately he isn’t hating me as much, it comes and goes with days that he wants absolutely nothing to do with me and other days where he is fine. We are working through it and even though it is really hard on me, there are a lot of tears, etc. I know I am supposed to go through this and that I am supposed to learn something from this experience. Thank you to all of you that were so kind and supportive. It truly means more than you know to me. We are hoping it is just some crazy phase, but if not we are ready to take proper steps to get this little buddy some help.
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