Transitioning To Two Littles1
Well…here we are about 5 weeks after having little Lettie join our family. You guys have been checking in on me and wanting to know how the transition to two littles is going for me. This post is going to be completely real, raw, and honest. I will say I don’t want any parenting advice, pitty parties, or pats on the back either. This post is meant for other mamas to know they aren’t alone, things aren’t always easy, and that I truly believe that we are all doing the best that we can.
When we first came home from the hospital things were honestly okay. King was smitten with Lettie and we had to remind him that he could give her hugs and loves but had to be really soft with her. His behavior was pretty good and I thought we had things somewhat figured out. I had a lot of help with him though between my mom and family (my mom is literally the most amazing mama) and I don’t know if that was helping him or what but he was doing great and everyone was pretty happy at our house. Lettie was a typical newborn besides the bilirubin lights, coughing up blood clots, and acid reflux but that was all stuff that we could handle and took as it came.
King is still smitten with Lettie and wants to touch her, hug her, hold her, etc. most of the day. The newness of her is wearing off a little bit and I think he has realized she isn’t going anywhere. We still have to never leave her alone to even go to the bathroom because he will over squeeze her with a hug, try to pick her up, smother her in kisses until she can’t breath, etc.
The problem we are having now is his behaviors have really struggled and gone back to what we were struggling with over a year ago. He is back to being aggressive, hitting, scratching, kicking, sometimes biting, and major major tantrums that no one can help him or calm him down from. Things that shouldn’t set him off are setting him off. He is really defiant lately (like running away from me at ROSS and hiding from me). He is really stubborn like me his dad and I which will be really good one day but is really really hard right now.
We are currently implementing a lot of systems for him to see if those work. If they do I am happy to share what they are, I just want to give them a good run first. We have consequences that we really stick to no matter what and are making sure that he goes to bed and gets enough sleep because that generally makes for harder days when he goes to bed late. We also are talking with our pediatrician about behavioral therapy for him. He isn’t happy and is really upset all the time which is no way for a toddler to live so I want to figure things out for him so he can be happy and have fun again.
King can be such a good little boy and that is why I know something isn’t right in his world and I need to figure it out. He is so sweet, loving, and smart that I need to help him to get back to that little boy that I know is in there.
We are just over here trying our best, loving these littles even when it is hard, and soaking in newborn snuggles. Getting both littles out and about hasn’t been an issue for me, it is the tantrums and meltdowns when we are out or even at home that are really hard. Everything else is going great with two littles and I am grateful for Lettie who is my little light when my patience is thin, my fuse is short, and I just need a breath.
If you are in the same boat you aren’t alone mama. I am always here if you need someone to talk to, someone to cry to, etc with absolutely no judgement. Being a mom is hard especially with a really stubborn aggressive little one. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone!